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Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

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In Touch With My Feelings at the Dentist’s? Email to My Therapist

June 9, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Thirty-six years ago you and I had an 11-session conversation in which I “got in touch with my feelings.” I got quick and dramatic results from this change: I started writing fiction, I fell in love and got happily married, and I became a problem for area dentists. Before the “feelings” turning point, […] Read More

The Feeling of Being Narrow and Small and Tired of Myself

June 6, 2017
Nicholas, A change! In the months I’ve been looking after ailing and endangered loved ones, I haven’t fallen into the state of mind I call “tired of myself.” At times in the past, I’ve felt hemmed-in and trapped inside my own personality and set of quirks and ambitions and repeating thoughts. Sort of like being […] Read More

Extreme Emotional Exhaustion: Email to My Therapist

May 31, 2017
Nicholas — Sunday I fell into a 48-hour stupor, the accumulated effect of the 5.5 months of my family’s medical adventures. I’d already taken a 4-hour middle-of-the-day premonitory nap on Saturday. This longer “nap” felt like extreme emotional exhaustion. My ostensible focus of dismay on Saturday was our current invasion of millipedes. (We live in […] Read More

On a More Joyous Note: Email to My Therapist

May 22, 2017
Dear Nicholas, New puppy! His name is Carlo. He’s ten weeks old. He’s a Maremma, which is an Italian breed of livestock guardian. He joined us two days ago and he’s starting to get used to the idea. He’ll grow up to be about 100 pounds, which is 25-ish less than the beloved giant who […] Read More

Dying Into The River: Email to My Therapist

May 17, 2017
Nicholas, Recent brushes with death have been on my mind — and now, by chance, a story of mine has just been published that takes me back to when I saw the shocking reality of death on the Ganges, the dying into the river. I was 41 years old at the time (in 1991) and […] Read More

Feeling Overwhelmed: Email to My Therapist

May 12, 2017
Dear Nicholas, The “feeling overwhelmed” situation cropped up twice in the last week. I made it worse by reminding myself that I have it so easy compared to millions of other people. Other people, for example, take care of a spouse with ALS while also raising children and holding a demanding low-wage job. That’s not […] Read More

Death of a Friend–It’s Complicated. Email to My Therapist

May 2, 2017
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m going to go ahead and write this while it’s very fresh. Our old friend Robert Goforth died three weeks ago. The memorial service yesterday was a sunshiny party outdoors in the country with live bluegrass, high-powered margaritas, and a Mexican buffet. I felt okay enough while we were there–it was such […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: What’s Up With Mashed Potato Mountains and Green Moss ?

April 25, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Ever since I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind, where characters get obsessed with reproducing the shape of a particular mountain–including making a mashed potato mountain– I’ve thought about such strong seemingly nonsensical urges. With me, it seems to be green moss. I’ve recently noticed that I shoot pictures of green moss […] Read More

Spring Cleansing, Religiously: Email to My Therapist

April 18, 2017
Hi, Nicholas — I hope you had a good Easter. Mine was like none I ever had before. I cleaned out my refrigerator. This spring cleansing was a most reverent, mindful, and satisfying Easter. I’m serious. Mid-morning Sunday, I realized it was important — it was crucial — for me to clean out the fridge […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Tax Anxiety

April 11, 2017
Nicholas — I’ve happily discovered I’m not the only person who gets nervous at tax time. Tax anxiety turns out to be a highly Google-able term. Lots of stories have heads like: “Survey: Young People Have Tax Anxiety” and “The Word Entrepreneurs Dread Most: Taxes” and “Tax time anxiety–Anxiety Control Center.” These articles aren’t primarily about […] Read More