Nicholas, I’m told it’s a bad idea to blog about feeling worthless. I agree. I’m doing it anyway. This is not a ploy to get people to say encouraging things to me. Nothing anybody could say would help. I have no excuse for this terrible mood. Quite the reverse. I went with Bob today for […] Read More

Nicholas, I said to you once, “I am so welded to Bob.” You said, “I know.” What did we mean by that, I wonder? It’s more than love. More than commitment. It seems to be a biological fact. Like my having two arms. Not sure when this happened. I know we’d been married two years […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Monday night was the fifth rush to the Emergency Room entrance for one or another of my family in a mere six months. You might think that I’d start to know the drill, but this time in spite of my best efforts, I’m holding up a little less well. My spirits are excellent […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Thirty-six years ago you and I had an 11-session conversation in which I “got in touch with my feelings.” I got quick and dramatic results from this change: I started writing fiction, I fell in love and got happily married, and I became a problem for area dentists. Before the “feelings” turning point, […] Read More

Nicholas, A change! In the months I’ve been looking after ailing and endangered loved ones, I haven’t fallen into the state of mind I call “tired of myself.” At times in the past, I’ve felt hemmed-in and trapped inside my own personality and set of quirks and ambitions and repeating thoughts. Sort of like being […] Read More

Nicholas — Sunday I fell into a 48-hour stupor, the accumulated effect of the 5.5 months of my family’s medical adventures. I’d already taken a 4-hour middle-of-the-day premonitory nap on Saturday. This longer “nap” felt like extreme emotional exhaustion. My ostensible focus of dismay on Saturday was our current invasion of millipedes. (We live in […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, New puppy! His name is Carlo. He’s ten weeks old. He’s a Maremma, which is an Italian breed of livestock guardian. He joined us two days ago and he’s starting to get used to the idea. He’ll grow up to be about 100 pounds, which is 25-ish less than the beloved giant who […] Read More

Nicholas, Recent brushes with death have been on my mind — and now, by chance, a story of mine has just been published that takes me back to when I saw the shocking reality of death on the Ganges, the dying into the river. I was 41 years old at the time (in 1991) and […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, The “feeling overwhelmed” situation cropped up twice in the last week. I made it worse by reminding myself that I have it so easy compared to millions of other people. Other people, for example, take care of a spouse with ALS while also raising children and holding a demanding low-wage job. That’s not […] Read More

Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m going to go ahead and write this while it’s very fresh. Our old friend Robert Goforth died three weeks ago. The memorial service yesterday was a sunshiny party outdoors in the country with live bluegrass, high-powered margaritas, and a Mexican buffet. I felt okay enough while we were there–it was such […] Read More