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Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

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Emails to my Therapist:
On God, Sex, Death, Love, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Writing, and Anything Else on My Mind

N.C. Legislature, Dudley Price, Peggy Payne, Harry Payne

How Life Turns Out, So Far: Last of 3-Part Mini-memoir

August 14, 2017
Dear Nicholas, “How Life Turns Out (so far)” is the final piece of the personal history I started unfolding here several days ago. The first, “City Love”: brought me to the point of getting a newspaper job in Raleigh, the city that’s the original reason for writing all this. The second was “Single Girl in the City.”  This […] Read More

Single Girl in the City: Personal History

August 11, 2017
Dear Nicholas, “Single Girl in the City” is the second part of the personal history I started spinning out here a couple of days ago. The first part brought me to the point of getting a newspaper job in Raleigh, the city that’s the original reason for writing all this. Here’s the second in this […] Read More

Personal History: City Love

August 9, 2017
Nicholas, A few years ago, I wrote a piece of personal history for the anthology 27 Views of Raleigh. Turned out to be a story that stretched across all of my adult life, which of course I want you to know about. In the language of Facebook, I called it: “In a Relationship with Raleigh: […] Read More

The Real Facts About Life: Email to My Therapist

August 4, 2017
Nicholas, I have trouble believing in two major facts about life: birth and death. The real facts of life, it seems to me, are love, work, and running errands. Plus, being a believer or non-believer. And going to the beach, etc. The idea that people vanish seems utterly implausible to me. The idea that people […] Read More

Days Without McDonald’s Sweet Tea? What is Happening?

July 29, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Without deciding to, I seem to be neglecting my most-cherished bad habits, at least for the moment. I’m amazed. Usually, to make a change like this, I have to decide to do it, suffer in the process, and give myself rewards for sticking to my resolve. Most dramatically, it has been ten days […] Read More

Novelist Struggles With Rapper’s Block: Email to My Therapist

July 18, 2017
Nicholas, In the flurry of book promotion three years ago when Cobalt Blue came out, I dreamed up a fabulous idea: write a sales rap for all my books. Make a rap video. I was so excited. I wrote the lyrics. I’ve been making pathetic attempts to rap ever since. I was advised from the […] Read More

My Tactic for Living a Hyper-Vivid Life

July 12, 2017
Nicholas, Writing these notes to you makes me see my life/self a little differently. The experience is a lot like keeping a journal in the three months I spent in Varanasi doing research for my novel Sister India. Then I was writing what I felt/thought/observed hour by hour, to have the tastes and smells of […] Read More

Where Some Emotional Sagas Ended

July 7, 2017
Nicholas, An update, how several recent emotional sagas ended. Or at least paused. Last week I posted Feeling Worthless. That depressive dip passed within 24 hours, aided by 14 hours of sleep. Now I feel Very Worthwhile. Bob continues to recover impressively well from his six-month series of serious health whammies . He works, works out, […] Read More

Feeling Worthless

July 1, 2017
Nicholas, I’m told it’s a bad idea to blog about feeling worthless. I agree. I’m doing it anyway. This is not a ploy to get people to say encouraging things to me. Nothing anybody could say would help. I have no excuse for this terrible mood. Quite the reverse. I went with Bob today for […] Read More

Something More Than Love

June 27, 2017
Nicholas, I said to you once, “I am so welded to Bob.” You said, “I know.” What did we mean by that, I wonder? It’s more than love. More than commitment. It seems to be a biological fact. Like my having two arms. Not sure when this happened. I know we’d been married two years […] Read More


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