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Emails to my Therapist:
On God, Sex, Death, Love, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Writing, and Anything Else on My Mind

Spring Cleansing, Religiously: Email to My Therapist

April 18, 2017
Hi, Nicholas — I hope you had a good Easter. Mine was like none I ever had before. I cleaned out my refrigerator. This spring cleansing was a most reverent, mindful, and satisfying Easter. I’m serious. Mid-morning Sunday, I realized it was important — it was crucial — for me to clean out the fridge […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Tax Anxiety

April 11, 2017
Nicholas — I’ve happily discovered I’m not the only person who gets nervous at tax time. Tax anxiety turns out to be a highly Google-able term. Lots of stories have heads like: “Survey: Young People Have Tax Anxiety” and “The Word Entrepreneurs Dread Most: Taxes” and “Tax time anxiety–Anxiety Control Center.” These articles aren’t primarily about […] Read More

To My Young Friend Peggy: From Author Dan Wakefield

April 1, 2017
A reaction to my recent post, The Touchy Subject of Getting Old and Possibly Dying, comes from Dan Wakefield who turns 85 next month. Dan is a dear friend and the author of best-selling novels Going All The Way and Starting Over, both made into feature films. He created the NBC prime time TV series James at 15  […] Read More

The Touchy Matter of Getting Old and Possibly Dying

March 25, 2017
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I seem to have reached The Age of Others Keeling Over. People keep getting old, falling ill, some actually dying. This sort of thing has happened before, but back then it was an aberration, cases of dying too young. Now I’m 68, healthy, and still blessed with an adolescent sense of  immortality that I hope to keep […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: The Wackiness of Emotions

March 21, 2017
Nicholas — I  wish emotions were more predictable. More logical. More clearly based on cause and effect. I don’t think that’s unreasonable of me. But wackiness seems to be the way. Feelings sometimes seem so out of sync with what’s going on.  Melancholy/irritability on a beautiful carefree day (was my unconscious processing the need to deal pretty […] Read More

The Long Eventful Life of a Serenely High-Spirited Handsome Dog

March 15, 2017
Our Kaya has left us. Would have been thirteen on Saturday. I doubt if he thought of himself as a majestic handsome dog. Sometimes he thought of himself as a lapdog, in spite of weighing roughly the same as I do. He was Bob’s dog, not mine, Bob being the more nurturing of us, the more […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Excellent Confidence Builder

March 13, 2017
Nicholas — Two things: 1. My somewhat-insane self-discipline seems to have gone on vacation.  2. Your confidence builder technique is turning out to be astonishingly effective. 1. The self-discipline: I’ve lately been indulging in sleeping late, far too many Cherry Cokes, days without to-do lists. Not bothering to require a lot of myself. Not rushing anything or straining to accomplish. Not […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: How Do I Want to Be?

March 6, 2017
Dear Nicholas,  Your question — how do I want to be? — suits this moment in my life very well. (Probably would suit any moment for anyone.) Last email to you, I was feeling like a box of puzzle pieces after Husband Bob’s extremely close brush with death and his unlikely survival. In the month since his return to […] Read More

Organize My Life? What Happened to My Trusty Rituals?

February 15, 2017
(Email to therapist) Nicholas, All my routines are scrambled. I feel like a box of puzzle pieces. Shake me and I rattle. It’s not unpleasant, just new and a bit unnerving. Not even sure I’m ready to organize my life again. I’m trying to put my regular self/life back together after the six weeks at […] Read More

Medical Emergency: Aftershocks for (me) the Spouse

February 10, 2017
(Email to therapist)    Nicholas — So many surprises for me since Bob woke up from his near-death crisis in heart surgery. The cardiac medical emergency itself was the first and largest surprise, of course.  And then came: 1. The honeymoon-ish change in our marriage 2. My certainty that all medical problems are solved and […] Read More


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