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Emails to my Therapist:
On Love, Death, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Spiritual Yearning, Writing and Anything Else on My Mind

A Mood Booster I’d Forgotten: The Immortal IZ

December 7, 2020
Dear Nicholas, The three-and-a-half minute video below has already been heard/watched 993  million times. A while back I had played it a few times myself. By chance (or algorithm) I ran across it again yesterday while checking out the new Saturday Night Live skits on Youtube. What a mood-booster to view again! I’m so pleased […] Read More

A Surprise Gratitude Upwelling

November 27, 2020
Dear Nicholas, I didn’t expect this Thanksgiving to be exceptional except for the smallness of the crowd (just Bob and me). But the traditional meal we threw together produced in me some surprise gratitude. Not just a review of the list of loved ones, an overview of everything good, but a sharp upwelling of feeling. […] Read More

When a Loved One Is Suffering

November 16, 2020
Dear Nicholas, I’m losing a very dear friend to a terrible disease. Her story is not mine to tell and so I guard her privacy, but need to say: this is hard. Right now it’s not loss that’s worst; it’s knowing that a loved one is suffering. There is nothing at all that I can […] Read More

Pink Cloud of the Divine?

October 20, 2020
  Dear Nicholas, I was lying on the floor staring out the hall window– the spot where we get the best phone reception– involved in conversation about a friend who is seriously ill. While I watched, a pink cloud filled half the window frame, covering a huge expanse of sky. Pink light? I moved around […] Read More

my rage

What to Do With My Rage?

September 19, 2020
Dear Nicholas, I’m talking about my own– my rage. Tonight when I got the news that Ruth Bader Ginsburg had died, my mind–which could have been lingering on “what a heroic woman, thank you for all you’ve done!” instead went almost instantly to elaborate imaginings of what the Supreme Court without her could do to […] Read More

Seeing Myself on Zoom

September 15, 2020
I hesitate to say this, Nicholas, even to friends, maybe especially to friends, for reasons that will surely be obvious.  But I’m going to say it here and now because for me it’s a little breakthrough that may give me a little more ease in the world. Or a lot more. Here it is: seeing […] Read More

Personality Changes from Staying Home?

September 8, 2020
Dear Nicholas, I think I’m getting to be more of an introvert. I understand this happens with age, but staying home for seven months (excepting runs to grocery, bank drive-through, etc) seems to have speeded up the process. When I moved my office plants home in early March, I felt a little silly imagining I […] Read More

The Loss of a Gathering Place: The Cafeteria Closes!

August 26, 2020
Dear Nicholas, In the midst of the current pestilence plus a wildly dangerous hurricane spinning toward the Gulf Coast, the loss of a gathering place–a shopping center cafeteria–may seem like small potatoes. But these potatoes are a big deal to me and a lot of others in Raleigh, North Carolina.  The Raleigh paper announced today […] Read More

18 Highly Personal Lockdown Quirks

August 15, 2020
Cobwebs in my car?  Nicholas, I gotta tell ya: this business of staying home for months has produced some surprising little lockdown quirks at my house. Two messy people in a log house in the woods do expect surprises–like the possum that once got into our semi-outdoor washing machine–but these months at home have produced […] Read More

An Old Shame That Doesn’t Feel Old

July 29, 2020
Terrible things happened a while back in my North Carolina hometown, Nicholas. I just read more and learned a lot I hadn’t known. My reaction is especially raw and personal because of how much I love the town and feel part of its history.  It’s an old shame that doesn’t feel old; I guess that’s […] Read More

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