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Emails to my Therapist:
On God, Sex, Death, Love, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Writing, and Anything Else on My Mind

The Long Eventful Life of a Serenely High-Spirited Handsome Dog

March 15, 2017
Our Kaya has left us. Would have been thirteen on Saturday. I doubt if he thought of himself as a majestic handsome dog. Sometimes he thought of himself as a lapdog, in spite of weighing roughly the same as I do. He was Bob’s dog, not mine, Bob being the more nurturing of us, the more […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Excellent Confidence Builder

March 13, 2017
Nicholas — Two things: 1. My somewhat-insane self-discipline seems to have gone on vacation.  2. Your confidence builder technique is turning out to be astonishingly effective. 1. The self-discipline: I’ve lately been indulging in sleeping late, far too many Cherry Cokes, days without to-do lists. Not bothering to require a lot of myself. Not rushing anything or straining to accomplish. Not […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: How Do I Want to Be?

March 6, 2017
Dear Nicholas,  Your question — how do I want to be? — suits this moment in my life very well. (Probably would suit any moment for anyone.) Last email to you, I was feeling like a box of puzzle pieces after Husband Bob’s extremely close brush with death and his unlikely survival. In the month since his return to […] Read More

Organize My Life? What Happened to My Trusty Rituals?

February 15, 2017
(Email to therapist) Nicholas, All my routines are scrambled. I feel like a box of puzzle pieces. Shake me and I rattle. It’s not unpleasant, just new and a bit unnerving. Not even sure I’m ready to organize my life again. I’m trying to put my regular self/life back together after the six weeks at […] Read More

Medical Emergency: Aftershocks for (me) the Spouse

February 10, 2017
(Email to therapist)    Nicholas — So many surprises for me since Bob woke up from his near-death crisis in heart surgery. The cardiac medical emergency itself was the first and largest surprise, of course.  And then came: 1. The honeymoon-ish change in our marriage 2. My certainty that all medical problems are solved and […] Read More

Turning Point: First, The Heart Trouble

February 3, 2017
My blog has a new name and wider focus, this change being part of some mysterious personal turning point. The blog is getting much more personal.  The new title:   EMAILS TO MY THERAPIST: Read More

Troubador of Sex and Spirit: Leonard Cohen

November 14, 2016
As a college freshman, I was pretty sure I’d discovered Leonard Cohen. I didn’t hear him blasting from a lot of other record players on the hall. So it was just Leonard and me. Then I graduated, got a newspaper job, got married, unmarried, remarried. Life and love being what they are, I somehow lost […] Read More

Spirituality, Lust, Trump Sex Scandal

October 10, 2016
This man is making sex look bad. Among his other sins, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is using a previously-respected political position to tar the reputation of the, at best, sacred and ecstatic act of sex. Sex and Lust He is also making lust look bad. I don’t believe lust is bad. It’s desire for […] Read More

Oxytocin: Sex Making Men More Spiritual

September 26, 2016
A study at Duke finds that a group of men report a stronger sense of spirituality after a dose of oxytocin, “the love hormone,” which is stimulated by sex. The news is reported on Duke Today, the study published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, the lead author social psychologist Patty Van Cappellen. I first […] Read More

Sex Life at Divinity School

August 17, 2016
I once knew a single woman pastor who was dating. What a very delicate situation she dealt with! A veteran minister warned her, “You have everything to lose.” We tend to expect the preacher to be a model of virtue, which is a terribly unfair burden to put on a human. A woman, even now, […] Read More


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