Slide background

Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

Order Now


Emails to my Therapist:
On God, Sex, Death, Love, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Writing, and Anything Else on My Mind

My Tactic for Living a Hyper-Vivid Life

July 12, 2017
Nicholas, Writing these notes to you makes me see my life/self a little differently. The experience is a lot like keeping a journal in the three months I spent in Varanasi doing research for my novel Sister India. Then I was writing what I felt/thought/observed hour by hour, to have the tastes and smells of […] Read More

Where Some Emotional Sagas Ended

July 7, 2017
Nicholas, An update, how several recent emotional sagas ended. Or at least paused. Last week I posted Feeling Worthless. That depressive dip passed within 24 hours, aided by 14 hours of sleep. Now I feel Very Worthwhile. Bob continues to recover impressively well from his six-month series of serious health whammies . He works, works out, […] Read More

Feeling Worthless

July 1, 2017
Nicholas, I’m told it’s a bad idea to blog about feeling worthless. I agree. I’m doing it anyway. This is not a ploy to get people to say encouraging things to me. Nothing anybody could say would help. I have no excuse for this terrible mood. Quite the reverse. I went with Bob today for […] Read More

Something More Than Love

June 27, 2017
Nicholas, I said to you once, “I am so welded to Bob.” You said, “I know.” What did we mean by that, I wonder? It’s more than love. More than commitment. It seems to be a biological fact. Like my having two arms. Not sure when this happened. I know we’d been married two years […] Read More

Emergency Room Entrance: Email to My Therapist

June 22, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Monday night was the fifth rush to the Emergency Room entrance for one or another of my family in a mere six months. You might think that I’d start to know the drill, but this time in spite of my best efforts, I’m holding up a little less well. My spirits are excellent […] Read More

In Touch With My Feelings at the Dentist’s? Email to My Therapist

June 9, 2017
Dear Nicholas, Thirty-six years ago you and I had an 11-session conversation in which I “got in touch with my feelings.” I got quick and dramatic results from this change: I started writing fiction, I fell in love and got happily married, and I became a problem for area dentists. Before the “feelings” turning point, […] Read More

The Feeling of Being Narrow and Small and Tired of Myself

June 6, 2017
Nicholas, A change! In the months I’ve been looking after ailing and endangered loved ones, I haven’t fallen into the state of mind I call “tired of myself.” At times in the past, I’ve felt hemmed-in and trapped inside my own personality and set of quirks and ambitions and repeating thoughts. Sort of like being […] Read More

Extreme Emotional Exhaustion: Email to My Therapist

May 31, 2017
Nicholas — Sunday I fell into a 48-hour stupor, the accumulated effect of the 5.5 months of my family’s medical adventures. I’d already taken a 4-hour middle-of-the-day premonitory nap on Saturday. This longer “nap” felt like extreme emotional exhaustion. My ostensible focus of dismay on Saturday was our current invasion of millipedes. (We live in […] Read More

On a More Joyous Note: Email to My Therapist

May 22, 2017
Dear Nicholas, New puppy! His name is Carlo. He’s ten weeks old. He’s a Maremma, which is an Italian breed of livestock guardian. He joined us two days ago and he’s starting to get used to the idea. He’ll grow up to be about 100 pounds, which is 25-ish less than the beloved giant who […] Read More

Dying Into The River: Email to My Therapist

May 17, 2017
Nicholas, Recent brushes with death have been on my mind — and now, by chance, a story of mine has just been published that takes me back to when I saw the shocking reality of death on the Ganges, the dying into the river. I was 41 years old at the time (in 1991) and […] Read More

Follow This Blog