Extreme Emotional Exhaustion: Email to My Therapist
Nicholas — Sunday I fell into a 48-hour stupor, the accumulated effect of the 5.5 months of my family’s medical adventures. I’d already taken a 4-hour middle-of-the-day premonitory nap on Saturday. This longer “nap” felt like extreme emotional exhaustion.
My ostensible focus of dismay on Saturday was our current invasion of millipedes. (We live in a log house in deep damp woodland shade) My thought: I can’t even keep bugs out of the house. Clearly a reason to go back to bed.
Half a day later, it was clear that millipedes weren’t the primary problem.
Primary problem: I can’t stop anybody’s ailments or aging. Can’t be everywhere at once either.
So the temporary solution: irresistible rest. As if I had an alternative. At home on the sofa, I couldn’t stay awake. This afternoon in my office, I dozed for several hours, some of the time with my computer propped in my lap. In between naps, I simply sat and stared. Couldn’t even answer emails from friends.
And now the world is starting to come into focus again.
Apparently, 48 hours of this sort of thing is helpful. I’m still not up to doing a load of laundry, but getting there. What a weird unsettling and settling Memorial Day weekend. The surprises do not end.