Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m going to go ahead and write this while it’s very fresh. Our old friend Robert Goforth died three weeks ago. The memorial service yesterday was a sunshiny party outdoors in the country with live bluegrass, high-powered margaritas, and a Mexican buffet. I felt okay enough while we were there–it was such […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Ever since I saw Close Encounters of the Third Kind, where characters get obsessed with reproducing the shape of a particular mountain–including making a mashed potato mountain– I’ve thought about such strong seemingly nonsensical urges. With me, it seems to be green moss. I’ve recently noticed that I shoot pictures of green moss […] Read More

Hi, Nicholas — I hope you had a good Easter. Mine was like none I ever had before. I cleaned out my refrigerator. This spring cleansing was a most reverent, mindful, and satisfying Easter. I’m serious. Mid-morning Sunday, I realized it was important — it was crucial — for me to clean out the fridge […] Read More

Nicholas — I’ve happily discovered I’m not the only person who gets nervous at tax time. Tax anxiety turns out to be a highly Google-able term. Lots of stories have heads like: “Survey: Young People Have Tax Anxiety” and “The Word Entrepreneurs Dread Most: Taxes” and “Tax time anxiety–Anxiety Control Center.” These articles aren’t primarily about […] Read More

A reaction to my recent post, The Touchy Subject of Getting Old and Possibly Dying, comes from Dan Wakefield who turns 85 next month. Dan is a dear friend and the author of best-selling novels Going All The Way and Starting Over, both made into feature films. He created the NBC prime time TV series James at 15  […] Read More

Dear Therapist Nicholas, I seem to have reached The Age of Others Keeling Over. People keep getting old, falling ill, some actually dying. This sort of thing has happened before, but back then it was an aberration, cases of dying too young. Now I’m 68, healthy, and still blessed with an adolescent sense of  immortality that I hope to keep […] Read More

Nicholas — I  wish emotions were more predictable. More logical. More clearly based on cause and effect. I don’t think that’s unreasonable of me. But wackiness seems to be the way. Feelings sometimes seem so out of sync with what’s going on.  Melancholy/irritability on a beautiful carefree day (was my unconscious processing the need to deal pretty […] Read More

Our Kaya has left us. Would have been thirteen on Saturday. I doubt if he thought of himself as a majestic handsome dog. Sometimes he thought of himself as a lapdog, in spite of weighing roughly the same as I do. He was Bob’s dog, not mine, Bob being the more nurturing of us, the more […] Read More

Nicholas — Two things: 1. My somewhat-insane self-discipline seems to have gone on vacation.  2. Your confidence builder technique is turning out to be astonishingly effective. 1. The self-discipline: I’ve lately been indulging in sleeping late, far too many Cherry Cokes, days without to-do lists. Not bothering to require a lot of myself. Not rushing anything or straining to accomplish. Not […] Read More

Dear Nicholas,  Your question — how do I want to be? — suits this moment in my life very well. (Probably would suit any moment for anyone.) Last email to you, I was feeling like a box of puzzle pieces after Husband Bob’s extremely close brush with death and his unlikely survival. In the month since his return to […] Read More