In my mind, my mother and Queen Elizabeth have long been connected. Until the queen died, I thought I was the only one harboring such a thought. Now I’ve read a tiny fraction of the public responses and I realize that a lot of people, women especially, of about my age  have had the same […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I am a very discouraged gardener. I feel defeated. Since last winter I’ve been letting nature take over. But I want to recover and get back out into action.  The reason I’ve stayed inside reading even on pretty days is that I’m tired of feeding deer, rabbits and voles.  This past year they […] Read More

Never would I have imagined, Nicholas, that I’d get hooked on watching glammed-up children sail, two by two, around a dance floor as if in a ballroom a hundred years ago. After all, dance recitals are known to be one of the heaviest burdens of parenthood. A blogger called Scary Mommy is eloquent on the […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I’ve been a bit more forgetful in recent months. Only about very small things, but I don’t like it AT ALL. Makes me feel I’m in a leaky boat. I’m guessing that paying attention to each little memory lapse or hesitation can only make forgetfulness worse. Normal Does Not Equal Good A sixty-something […] Read More

To throw off a personal misery, a helpful question is: what am I getting out of it? What benefit do I get from the problem that might prevent a cure? Silver linings can be a trap, a real deterrent to making the full effort to solve the problem. I do know this, my friend. And […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I usually think that we humans are as much alike as we are different from each other, no matter the race or gender, orientation or education–or even political party. But there are individuals and groups that cast this in doubt: one small but vivid example being the people who surf giant waves, the […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, It’s not just me. Lots of folks have this petty but demoralizing complaint: marathon multi-hour sessions on the  phone or online trying to do business with outfits that are not human scale. The Unscalable Electronic Wall My heart sinks whenever I realize I need to make some change in our phones, wifi, electricity, […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, I realized recently that my mostly-wonderful genetic inheritance from my mother (including rather sturdy physical health) also includes a quality of being ever-so-slightly reckless. I now need to tame that particular gene. I don’t mean that she was racing motorcycles or rock climbing without ropes. Instead, she drove fast and ran when walking […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, Bob and I got home late Tuesday afternoon from a long-planned long-delayed trip and now, as I write, it’s Friday and I still haven’t gotten back to work. I feel like a terrible slacker. My reliable guilt reflex has kicked in. And the guilt itself feels terribly self-indulgent when refugees are on the […] Read More

Dear Nicholas, For as long as I can remember, I’ve been guarding against making the giant mistake that will ruin everything, certainly the rest of my life and also the lives of others, likely including their children and grandchildren. It’s not a particular mistake. It could be anything: accidentally committing a terrible crime or burning […] Read More