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Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

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Big Big Birthdays…Husband Turns Eighty! Golly!

February 2, 2022
Hi, Nicholas, I know that turning eighty sounds like a trifle to anyone who has already done it, but for those of us who haven’t, it’s a significant figure. A Big Birthday. A Grand Occasion. Husband Bob is pleased to arrive on Friday February 4, (tomorrow) at this lofty point in life, then to venture […] Read More

Living with “an Animal Guy” in an “Animal House”

January 17, 2022
Dear Nicholas, I have just this week realized that we have animal images all over the house, Bob’s doing. How did I not notice the theme? And how do all these animals affect me? I don’t entirely know, but at the same time I have no doubt that they do. I’ve always thought I could […] Read More

Birthdaying and the Age of Change

January 9, 2022
Dear Nicholas, Something about turning 73 Saturday made me sleepy. Naps are not my usual form of birthdaying, but this time it was irresistible. Delicious sofa sleep most of the afternoon in the company of sleepy dogs. And then…! The Age of Change Last time I wrote I was depressed about moving out of my […] Read More

Writing Myself Out of Depression (trying to)

December 29, 2021
Dear Nicholas, I’m depressed. Have been most of the time since Christmas night. Writing usually helps, so here goes… Why I am so low is not clear, as is so often the case with depression. Christmas with my brothers and their families was wonderful. When we got home I began to sink. Bob’s theory about […] Read More

A Different Kind of Empty Nest

December 12, 2021
Dear Nicholas, I’m in the midst of moving my office–my writing nest–after sixteen years of working in desk-to-desk chatting distance of my dear friend writer Carrie Knowles. This place has been a second home for me.   We’re moving out because the building is sold. I’m leaving this nest behind–empty until the violin maker moves […] Read More

A Whole Lot of Change All At Once

November 17, 2021
  Dear Nicholas, I feel like an air traffic controller (with limited control) with all that’s happening just lately. Given our complicated times, I’m probably not the only one. But everybody’s list of flying objects is different. Here’s my list of just a few weeks: *New book under contract! *Good lab results on husband’s cancer […] Read More

Seeking A New Pursuit: Must Be Captivating, Enchanting, Intriguing

October 22, 2021
Dear Nicholas,  With so many of my loved ones scattering in every direction and doing new things, I feel a strong need to do something new myself. I’m seeking a new pursuit, a new interest or activity that I’ll feel passionate about. It needs to be fun, not a laborious self-improvement. Not something I “should” do, […] Read More

John Updike, noticing

Noticing is Nearly Everything

September 22, 2021
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I’m currently submerged in a 900+ page book that has reminded me, with the force of a large ocean wave, of the practice of noticing. It’s not much of an exaggeration to say that noticing is nearly everything. Paying attention is the practice that (ideally) precedes decision and action. It’s a requirement […] Read More

Girls Who Can’t Read Break My Heart

August 20, 2021
Dear Nicholas, I’ve never been to Afghanistan, but have long felt a bit of my heart is there. This was true ever since I heard at lunch one day years ago that only 15% of Afghani women could read. The Taliban, now in charge in the country, placed multiple bars to girls’ education during their […] Read More

Ringing The Radiation Bell

August 4, 2021
Dear Nicholas, Yesterday morning Bob rang the end-of-radiation bell in the hospital hall. Ringing three times is a tradition–now somewhat controversial–for hitting a milestone in cancer treatment. It wasn’t a wildly exuberant moment. We were late finding out about this ceremony and so hadn’t been imagining it. Also, we’re both a little tired.   The […] Read More