It could require some courage — a deep breath at least –to show up in public at a store and take a seat at a reading for a book titled Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage.
I was there for the kickoff reading at the North Raleigh Barnes & Noble because I was one of the critiquer/advisors for author Laurie Watson, a sex therapist who also writes a column, "Married and Still Doing It," for Psychology Today's online magazine.
My husband seated to my right was there because it was our "date night" and so he was keeping me company and also because he's a therapist who deals with such matters in his practice.
The woman who emphatically plunked down in the seat to my left? A different story.
After Laurie had talked a bit and opened the floor for questions, this woman, young and African-American, jumped in with the first question. She said she had saved her virginity for marriage and had expected her wedding night to be an amazing experience.
She had not found it so and so she had come into this store looking for helpful information in books — and then by accident had happened onto this very reading. Her husband, she said, was wandering around looking at other stuff in the store.
Laurie Watson talked usefully and reassuringly about how the process of adjusting to each other took time, etc.
Well, I was wowed that the person beside me had the nerve to show up and ask that question and jump in with it first thing. And I told her so afterward. She — I have no idea what her name was — said she certainly wasn't going miss an opportunity to ask a doctor a question about the very thing she needed to know about and not even have to pay for an office visit.
A lot of people in the same situation wouldn't have dared. I think this exceptionally gutsy young question-asker will get what she wants, will have lots of amazing experiences of all sorts. How could she not?
(Especially if she reads Laurie Watson's book, which BTW is very good.)