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Cobalt Blue: A Novel

A novel for courageous readers and seekers, COBALT BLUE is a turbulent, gorgeous ride into sacred sex..

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Some Bad News and Some Good News: Medical Test Results

April 28, 2021
Well, Nicholas, my beloved husband Bob has come down with a particularly fierce brand of prostate cancer. And the good news is that it hasn’t spread to the rest of him. These last few weeks have been lots of doc appointments and lots of waiting. Waiting for the next medical test. Waiting for medical test […] Read More

meditative coloring

Instead of Meditating…

April 12, 2021
Dear Nicholas, Right now (and perhaps forever) I’m coloring instead of meditating. For me, for the moment, it works better. I’d been dutifully and impatiently, sometimes resentfully, doing the meditative mindful breathing routine every morning for a while. Then I realized I was getting a more relaxed, free-of-mental-buzz experience out of the time I spend […] Read More

pandement

Pandementing?

February 26, 2021
Dear Nicholas, This past Tuesday, I not only thought it was Wednesday, I bullishly insisted it was. This morning I poured adhesive remover on my head thinking it was dry shampoo. And I recently tried to brush my teeth with hand lotion. I thought I had invented the word “pandementing” but then did a search […] Read More

I Have What Prisoners Call Gate Fever

February 22, 2021
Dear Nicholas, A week after my second shot, with greater freedom close, I’m at the pit of my pandemic year. It’s like what prisoners call gate fever, the barrage of feelings before expected release, emotions shooting in surprising directions. My case is no doubt quite different from an actual prisoner’s, because I’ve been living comfortably […] Read More

worse side effects

A Fierce Immune System Means Worse Side Effects?

February 18, 2021
Nicholas–I had my second shot (and hope you’ve had yours) and I now have new respect for sufferers of full-blown Covid-19. A few hours of the side effects of the vaccine–and that’s all it was, about 18 hours–were a shock. I’ve read that the stronger one’s immune system, the worse side effects may be. Apparently, […] Read More

Communicating With The Spirit World?

January 29, 2021
Dear Nicholas, The biography of a mystic I’ve been working on for years has led me in a curious direction, attempting to do my own communicating with the spirit world. The only big surprise so far came during a business phone call. You could say I received a message, though not the way I had […] Read More

Escaping Covid Cave– Landing in the ER

January 17, 2021
Dear Nicholas, It wasn’t the virus that took Bob and me to the hospital. It was, however, the virus-sponsored ten months hiding out at home that added voltage to the shock. Escaping covid “lockdown” had for us meant a run to the grocery store and very little else. That changed one night last week. The […] Read More

facing aging

17 and 71: Facing Aging, Aging Face

January 13, 2021
Dear Nicholas, As my brothers and I were packing up our mother’s house, I took the high school picture of me off the wall and saw I was at that moment wearing the same hairdo and a black turtleneck just like in the picture– at 17 and again at 71. It was a strange moment […] Read More

I Want to Be Clear…Sort Of

January 2, 2021
Dear Nicholas, I regularly have trouble getting my point across to people on the first try. This results in my having to write far too many drafts of my books. And in conversation, people will seize on some minor detail of what I’m saying as important and miss the point altogether. Or there’s some other […] Read More

Celebrating with Idleness

December 22, 2020
Dear Nicholas, With all plans scrambled by Covid,  I forgot to take a vacation this year and instead have worked, steadily, barely pausing to look up, from my laptop on my sofa. On the late afternoon of December 10, I ran out of gas and came to a halt. I’m still halted, seven business days […] Read More