Stubborn Little Fears
I was suffering a touch of hostess anxiety one day recently while trying to civilize our house for the arrival of guests.
A business acquaintance I saw that day interrupted our conversation to take a phone call. "Sorry," she said, when she hung up. "I had to take that…." Turned out that her 17 year-old son had gone into the hospital the previous week, where he would remain until a heart became available for a transplant. She was cancelling her three-week trip home to deal with her father's Alzheimer's. Her father could still comprehend that she wasn't coming to see him; but couldn't make sense of why.
Her story should have put nervousness about entertaining in perspective. But it didn't.
Instead I added feeling silly and shallow to feeling agitated, right up until the guests arrived, after which — as always — everything was fine.
Some little fears seem here to stay. They're not important enough to warrant the surgical campaign it would take to uproot them. My current plan: ignore the discomfort and keep going. Maybe if I give up fighting the fears, they'll eventually lose interest and go away.
Categories: enhancing creativity