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Praying for Better Sex

shutterstock_140092660(in case you missed the earlier version on HuffPo)

You didn’t read it wrong: there’s supposed to be an “r” in “pray.”

In setting out to write about praying for better sex, I don’t mean sending up a plea for action in the style of, say, a 14-year-old boy (though that seems perfectly reasonable to me.) Nor do I refer to random utterances of Oh, God.

What I mean is: bringing the most powerful force you know (or might consider believing in) into the encounter. Really, it seems half-hearted and careless not to do so.

Here is my proposal: when you and your partner are just getting cranked up, say a silent quarter-second prayer: “God (or Goddess), make me a more generous lover.” This is a prayer that can produce memorable results.

Now one might say that no divine presence is involved at all, but instead the mental statement of intention makes for more fireworks. Well, I guess that’s okay too. Some things work whether you believe in them or not. In any event, it’s a practice well worth experimenting with.

I had thought that this simple brilliant effective idea was my own. But then I paused to Google. Turns out that many have had this thought. A couple of examples:

The Sex Prayer encourages prayer for women who want to regain lost desire. “…Apparently, it works,” writes Jennifer Schuchmann.

“The Prayer Book for Spouses” released five years ago by the Catholic Truth Society suggests that the couple join in the “Prayer Before Making Love”: “…”Place within us love that truly gives,” described on Patheos by Kathy Schiffer

The idea of praying aloud together has some serious wet-blanket potential, I think. But tastes do differ.

Whatever your tastes, I dare you to try “praying for sex” and be amazed at the results.

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  • August 24, 2015 at 9:03 pm Reply

    How about “mindfulness” for those of us who can’t quite get behind saying a prayer? Being fully present and in the moment sure ought to make sex better. Plus sex is almost always more fulfilling when you strive to be a giving lover.

    • Peggy Payne
      August 24, 2015 at 9:06 pm Reply

      Very helpful way of thinking of it. And I don’t think the giving part can happen without being present in the moment.

  • Nicholas
    August 25, 2015 at 7:50 pm Reply

    So important and works for many. Presence is the utmost. Gratitude is also right up there. I have found effective in my work for years
    “Godess (or God) thank you for my love and loving and my sharing (with my lover)”
    I am not sure God has not already given us all we need at birth if we open ourselves up to the gift.

    • Peggy Payne
      August 25, 2015 at 9:05 pm Reply

      If we have all we need at birth, Nicholas, that would sure be a strong argument for not always trying so hard at everything — which is a tough habit to break.

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