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Emails to my Therapist

OCD update

My wrestle last week with my bit of obsessive compulsive disorder (see previous post) came to a happy ending.  I got a new prescription.  It's working great and I feel wonderful.

Also, I started planting big shrubs to screen out the forest devastation I was upset about.  (Again, the previous post will allow this to make sense.)

And my otherwise better-than-excellent doc dared to tell me, after reading my blog, that I have a Very Mild Case of OCD.  To that I say, God help the individual who has the more advanced condition of Mild Case or worse.   I am so relieved to be free again of that thicket of highly unpleasant mental repetition. 

My fine new drug is clomipramine.  When I googled it, the first thing that came up was use of this medication for anxious dogs.   So I guess I won't have any problems with fear of thunder or vacuum cleaners.

One lingering possibly pathological feeling: I don't want to get help planting 12 to 15 huge shrubs, because then my garden will feel permanently messed-with and no longer mine.  I cringe a bit at saying that, am hoping the feeling will pass — or I may still be digging holes in August.

Thanks for all the get-happier-soon wishes. 

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  • Lynne Wogan
    February 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm Reply

    I say get help…glad your new drug is helping with OCD but a gardener would be next on my list….

    • February 21, 2012 at 6:15 pm Reply

      Very sane and sensible, Lynne. I’m working on it.

  • February 22, 2012 at 5:30 am Reply

    On the other hand: maybe wanting to do it yourself is in fact not pathological but a concrete way you can "take back" your sacred space. If it takes you until August but gives you a deep sense of satisfaction it will be worthwhile to do it. Sometimes these things are metaphorical and symbolic and we can use these impulses as surfboards, if you will, on which we ride and conquer the big waves. 🙂

    • February 22, 2012 at 8:06 am Reply

      I love that, Billie — both the interpretation and the surfboard image. Very nice. Will surf on over to Logans (garden store for non NCians).

  • February 22, 2012 at 5:42 am Reply

    Yay!  I'm glad you have relief!

  • February 22, 2012 at 12:42 pm Reply

    The surfboard image was just for you!!

  • February 23, 2012 at 8:11 am Reply

    Maybe you have to do it yourself, but you don't have to do it alone.  It's OK to ask for help — I'm not so sure this is simply OCD.  Aiki

    • February 24, 2012 at 8:50 am Reply

      Very wise, Aiki. Seriously. But I sure don’t know what the other component is.

  • February 25, 2012 at 5:18 am Reply

    As always, you hit upon a profound idea: "…to be free again of that thicket of highly unpleasant mental repetition" is something we all aspire toward, whether diagnosed with OCD – mild, extreme or otherwise- or not.

    • February 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm Reply

      Seems to me that we all have at least a dab of every such tendency and trouble is just a matter of degree. I like the idea that a weakness is simply overuse of a strength. Thanks for your thoughts, Mohanalakshmi!

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