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Emails to my Therapist:
On God, Sex, Death, Love, Life Changes, Fears, Desires, Writing, and Anything Else on My Mind

The Touchy Matter of Getting Old and Possibly Dying

March 25, 2017
Dear Therapist Nicholas, I seem to have reached The Age of Others Keeling Over. People keep getting old, falling ill, some actually dying. This sort of thing — has happened before, but back then it was an aberration, cases of dying too young. Now I’m 68, healthy, and still blessed with an adolescent sense of  immortality that I hope to […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: The Wackiness of Emotions

March 21, 2017
Nicholas — I  wish emotions were more predictable. More logical. More clearly based on cause and effect. I don’t think that’s unreasonable of me. But wackiness seems to be the way. Feelings sometimes seem so out of sync with what’s going on.  Melancholy/irritability on a beautiful carefree day (was my unconscious processing the need to deal pretty […] Read More

The Long Eventful Life of a Serenely High-Spirited Handsome Dog

March 15, 2017
Our Kaya has left us. Would have been thirteen on Saturday. I doubt if he thought of himself as a majestic handsome dog. Sometimes he thought of himself as a lapdog, in spite of weighing roughly the same as I do. He was Bob’s dog, not mine, Bob being the more nurturing of us, the more […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: Excellent Confidence Builder

March 13, 2017
Nicholas — Two things: 1. My somewhat-insane self-discipline seems to have gone on vacation.  2. Your confidence builder technique is turning out to be astonishingly effective. 1. The self-discipline: I’ve lately been indulging in sleeping late, far too many Cherry Cokes, days without to-do lists. Not bothering to require a lot of myself. Not rushing anything or straining to accomplish. Not […] Read More

Email to My Therapist: How Do I Want to Be?

March 6, 2017
Dear Nicholas,  Your question — how do I want to be? — suits this moment in my life very well. (Probably would suit any moment for anyone.) Last email to you, I was feeling like a box of puzzle pieces after Husband Bob’s extremely close brush with death and his unlikely survival. In the month since his return to […] Read More

Organize My Life? What Happened to My Trusty Rituals?

February 15, 2017
(Email to therapist) Nicholas, All my routines are scrambled. I feel like a box of puzzle pieces. Shake me and I rattle. It’s not unpleasant, just new and a bit unnerving. Not even sure I’m ready to organize my life again. I’m trying to put my regular self/life back together after the six weeks at […] Read More

Medical Emergency: Aftershocks for (me) the Spouse

February 10, 2017
(Email to therapist)    Nicholas — So many surprises for me since Bob woke up from his near-death crisis in heart surgery. The cardiac medical emergency itself was the first and largest surprise, of course.  And then came: 1. The honeymoon-ish change in our marriage 2. My certainty that all medical problems are solved and […] Read More

Turning Point: First, The Heart Trouble

February 3, 2017
My blog has a new name and wider focus, this change being part of some mysterious personal turning point. The blog is getting much more personal.  The new title:   EMAILS TO MY THERAPIST: Read More

Troubador of Sex and Spirit: Leonard Cohen

November 14, 2016
As a college freshman, I was pretty sure I’d discovered Leonard Cohen. I didn’t hear him blasting from a lot of other record players on the hall. So it was just Leonard and me. Then I graduated, got a newspaper job, got married, unmarried, remarried. Life and love being what they are, I somehow lost […] Read More

Spirituality, Lust, Trump Sex Scandal

October 10, 2016
This man is making sex look bad. Among his other sins, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump is using a previously-respected political position to tar the reputation of the, at best, sacred and ecstatic act of sex. Sex and Lust He is also making lust look bad. I don’t believe lust is bad. It’s desire for […] Read More


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