I once heard a woman say in the flurry of “doing” Christmas that she’d decided one afternoon to “be the gift.” Often a phrase like this means giving a gift of time: changing someone’s lightbulbs or hanging out with them or some such. But this woman was thinking of it differently. And she was on […] Read More

Got past the day of holiday agitation. Now it just feels like I’m happily and confidently in the process of landing a small plane, for maybe the second or third time, never mind that this is my 59th Christmas. I take things too damn seriously. And I doubt if that’s going to change a lot. […] Read More

A few days back, I was excited at finding out about a book called The Courage to Teach, by Parker Palmer. Reason: though my classes seem to go well, I always feel a fear of teaching return afterwards. That’s so weirdly specific: like being scared of heights only three or seven stories high. And I […] Read More

I’M A BIG BELIEVER IN WORKING QUICKLY, BECAUSE I THINK IT’S HARDER-THOUGH NOT IMPOSSIBLE-TO BE PRETENTIOUS WHEN YOU’RE MOVING REALLY FAST.—Moviemaker Steven Soderbergh From Interview magazine website I once got bogged down in the middle of my first novel Revelation. I decided that on the following day, if I could get 7 pages of any […] Read More

Roy Blount, Jr., that jolly old elf, is current King Pen of the Authors Guild, and just sent this out to the membership. I think it’s a great idea. “We don’t want bookstores to die. Authors need them, and so do neighborhoods. So let’s mount a book-buying splurge. Get your friends together, go to your […] Read More

In the oatmeal-and-Internet cafe where I am taking my breakfast this morning, a man sits one table ahead of me in a rather elegant serious-looking Santa Claus hat. He’s about thirty, lean, dark and grizzled. The pile of napkins and tea detritus in front of him indicate he has been here for a while, by […] Read More

Oprah has been open about her weight for years. Hard not to be when you’re as visible as she is. But yesterday’s bold admission included the actual number of pounds she now weighs. There’s something about giving the number that takes more courage, I think. It’s not like rescuing children from a burning building, of […] Read More

One of the gutsiest things I know of is to be able to tolerate uncertainty or ambiguity: do I go or stay? is the biopsy going to show trouble? will I win the Nobel? is he going nuts or just being mean? am I on next week’s layoff list? And on and on like that. […] Read More

The holidays are getting to me today — in a not-good way. Decisions must be made! And preparations! I just did a web search of seafood restaurants serving on Christmas Day. Don’t know that that’s the solution, but maybe. I could view it as a holiday tradition to have one sinking spell. Just expect it […] Read More

An unexpectedly uplifting experience yesterday: I went to “tea” with five friends, as the guest of one of us, photographer Karen Tam. We were celebrating a combo of birthdays and Christmas. Tam took us to the Umstead, a still-newish hotel at Research Triangle Park that has been years in the making. It’s extremely well-appointed and […] Read More